Calming Spot

Today, Russ and I spent time in J's room getting it ready for his return from the hospital. We have come to accept (at least as much as we can right now) that our son has a major mood disorder and some developmental delays which means that we are having to readjust our way of living AGAIN. He has been in the hospital the last 3 weeks getting meds adjusted because he keeps growing!! (that is a good thing(that he is growing) since he is only in the 5th percentile for his age(15) in height and weight-that is ANOTHER health issue we are working on conquering!!)

Anyway, we have been working on helping him learn organization AND have a "calming spot" when he gets out of hand so he can go to and rest and regroup. We did some research and found that a number of our friends and cohorts in the "special needs" kids category have specifically designed their kids rooms to be comfortable, safe and clean. We have taken away a lot of things that would be harmful to him if he tried to hurt himself and freed things up to feel some space yet feel comfortable.

I thought about how "cluttered" our hearts and minds get sometimes. Mine has been extremely cluttered lately. I have had all kinds of thought and questions for God about why all this has happened to our son, to us as a family. And I know all the cliches'(this will make you stronger, God is in charge, you are a blessing to J-what if he had never had you). All those things are true....but in the midst of suffering and pain, it is hard to feel comforted by those words. I have to admit, I have been very grumpy lately(ask Russ and Steven), I have been extremely tired while nursing a cold, I have been overwhelmed and depressed some moments with thoughts of
the "rest of our lives".

......then today... I had asked a friend who is an interior designer to come over and help us make do with what is in J's room and help us to "de clutter" his room. As I went through the act of de-cluttering, throwing away things that had been broken, old papers, reading through old cards and notebooks of my son and seeing where he was even a year ago, my heart began to wake up and all the horrible, self centered thoughts of "poor me" "poor Jason" poor us....seem to float away as the room came to be the new "calming room" for J! I had been reminded of all that he had come through over the last 5 years and I felt "hopeful"...

I went on to work feeling exhilerated and refreshed..not tired and grumpy....a new beginning of a new phase of J's (and ours) journey. He will come home and we will teach him a bit more on keeping his life a bit more organized and also on how to calm down when he is upset and angry.....hey...maybe Russ and I need a "Calming Spot" in our bedroom!!! hehe

God is good...Russ and I both feel good about J's coming home. We are ready.....now we wait and anticipate the goodness of his return home. We will be complete again!

And as I learned in Al Anon....ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!

Lisa

PS Will post pictures when we get all the little last minute things done!