What Christmas Means to Our Family!

Here is a letter we recenlty sent to our family and some close friends.  Steven made a bad choice that has now caused him some legal problems and we have been in a time these last few days of deciding how to handle things, praying over this and seeking some help from those involved now. We have been amazed at God's love for us and for our son. These are our thoughts today. What a timely Christmas gift.
Russ, Lisa and boys

Okay so here is how God is working in this situation this week! This is so cool! Wanted to share it with you!

Russ and I had been talking earlier in the month about teen selfishness and gift giving, etc. We were trying to think about ways that we could teach our boys about God's gift to the world at Christmas. We had tried explaining to them that a "gift" is something that is given freely, not demanded. It didn't seem to be getting through so we both prayed for an opportunity to show them about what a gift really means. Well...we got it!

Our first reaction(as is any human beings) to Steven's choices  lately is to want to take away Steven's Christmas gifts and "make him pay" for how he hurt us as his parents. We wanted him to sit and watch Jason(who is doing really well right now)get his gifts. (I'm just being honest...crucify me if you want! hehe)We just wanted him to pay! It didn't matter at the moment that he was only 16, he is impulsive and his brain was harmed at birth by his birth mother smoking,drinking and doing drugs during her pregnancy!

We got to talking about this with our therapist and she reminded us that we had been wondering how to teach these boys about God's unconditional love for them and about what a "gift" really means! Russ and I then came up with a plan to not say anything to Steven(he is still squirming about getting ANYTHING right now), buy him a gift and not bring it out till last on Christmas morning. We are going to use that opportunity to tell him that we will always love him, no matter what he does to us or anyone else, we will never reject him, although others might, and that because we love him, we wanted to get him a gift to show our love for him.  No matter what his reaction is, whether he "gets it "or not, we have to do the right thing as parents because ALL parents are called to teach their children the right thing, aren't we? Even when they mess up, even when they betray us, even when they keep doing it. . Russ and I are Christ followers which means we do what is right because of our love for Christ despite our feelings at the moment. We, as  parents,(no matter how you become a parent)are called to be "Christ, with skin on" to our children.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, "God demonstrated his love for us, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8. We are to be like God with our son right now in this "moment" in time when he has messed up royally and will have consequences for quite a while from many places. We must "demonstrate" our love for him.

As our family and friends, we want to ask you to pray for Russ and I, not out of pity for what a hard time we have with our boys, but for wisdom to do the right thing, that will build our boys up and not tear them down. They had enough of that as babies and little kids. God sent them to us to be built up and restored to "health".  We need our hearts to continually be filled with compassion and strength to love our boys unconditionally through their struggles. The things they struggle with are hard, they are deeply engrained in their psyche, some of it is so deep it is genetic. It is going to take years, maybe a lifetime to remove those old tapes and habits. But none of it is impossible with God. That is what the angel said to Mary when she was told she was pregnant as a virgin. Nothing is impossible with God.

We plan to move forward and take things as they come with his consequences and keep teaching him to do the right thing. We surely can't MAKE him do the right thing, but we can surely keep instilling in him what he didn't get before and love him through thick and thin. Thanks for your prayers and love for our family. We are "strong" (as some have said lately)not because of our own strength. We are strong because of Christ in our hearts. Nothing else. We chose to follow Christ in this calling to adopt these sweet boys and we will be with them through thick and thin!

We love you all very much and thank you for sticking with us through thick and thin.  BTW, there is a great story in Luke 15 about loving a son despite what he did to the father.

Merry Christmas!

The Rose Family

Why You Should Buy These GREAT books!

Happy Advent.....Candle of Hope this week.....

If you really want a good read(s)this holiday season about HOPE, try one of these great books by a friend and kindred spirit of mine. Claudia and Bart parent 12 children through adoption and ALL of the books she has written are filled with love, laughter(mostly) and some great insights on adoption, foster care, parenting and just life....


http://fletcherclan.blogspot.com/2011/11/thank-you-for-making-my-black-friday.html
 

Check it out and buy for yourself, your friends and  family. Everyone will feel the power of the Lord in the pages of these books!

 

Along the Journey,

Lisa

Merry Christmas 2011 Happy New Year 2012

We are all doing well. The boys are growing by leaps and bounds. Still lots of health challenges at times. That is just our new normal. Jason and Steven are in 10th grade this year and doing well. We had to put Jason in a private school because of his health issues and he is doing FANTASTIC! Steven is in the IT Academy at his high school and becoming obsessed with technology. Russ and Lisa are doing well and working on bettering their health! We lost one of our pets this year, Cassie, who had been with us for 11 years. She was a sweet, loving friend to the boys. We will all miss her. Cheyenne the dog and Chloe the cat miss her too!
We are selling coffee to cover medical and schooling expenses for our boys. This is a great coffee company as they support adoption domestically and overseas. They are a fair-trade company which means that they care for the workers that help them out of Ethiopia.
Would you consider shopping here for Christmas? Great gifts. Great tasting coffee. You will be helping us immensely as you shop!

https://justlovecoffee.com/theroses4

OR

 call 615-624-4074 for a catalog.
The store is actually in Murfreesboro, TN if you want to stop by and shop that way.

WE SELL THIS ALL YEAR SO YOU CAN SHOP ANYTIME!

May you experience God's love in 2012 like you have never experienced.

                    Russ, Lisa, Jason and Steven

What A Week!

These past few weeks have been difficult to say the least. Our youngest son was completely disregulated(actually starting in Feb. of last year)and was starting to not take his meds(he is a very clever 16 yr old). That meant he hopped on the crazy wagon and took a very bumpy ride! Russ and I tried all kinds of things to help him focus(all the time thinking he was on his meds) but they weren't working. So after he walked off one day and we didn't know where he went, off to the hospital he goes...

He has been in there now for a week and is getting better with very savvy nurses who know all the tricks of hiding meds.(he has braces so he can hide them even better with them) and he seems to becoming more stable.

The toll it takes on a family to have a child hospitalized is incredible. When #1 was hospitalized for a month, that was extremely tiring. The hospital he is in is 90 miles away! 

Whenever we are down in the dumps,  there are always those people who  remind us that "we signed up for this when we adopted them" as if this is any different from "signing up" as a birth parent. We wanted kids, we couldn't birth them..so we adopted. We HAD NO CLUE (as birthparents don't either sometimes)what genetic challenges lay down the road for us. We had no clue that our first adopted would be battling EARLY ONSET Bipolar Disorder AND Autism at such an young age. We didn't know that Son#2 came with a genetic disorder that could cause aneurysms AND is prone to other disorders because of GENETICS.  In fact, the environmental challenges our boys have had are almost taken care of and now genetics are taking over!

It makes me HOT some days when I hear that as if we wanted to sign up for pain and heartache. That was not the case at all. We had no philanthropic ideals of helping poor orphan children(although we know that is a command of our Lord), we just wanted kids.

We are on this journey with our boys and their recovery from past abuse and neglect AND whatever genetic challenges lay ahead AND will be right beside them..no matter what! We have grown into a faith walk that includes the calling of adoption and foster care now because we have seen first hand what abuse and neglect can do to a child. Because of our boys, we are more understanding of what kids go through each day when they are living in abuse and neglect. As Christians, we are now obligated to do something because we know about it.

I saw a verse today that I loved and it reminded me of who we can truly count on for help....

Job 36:15 says: "But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction".

That is our prayer for our boys! That He will deliver them from their affliction.

Happy 10th to Us!

We have survived a terrorist attack, health issues, kid issues, adoption issues, moving to new job issues and EACH OTHERS issues!!

All we can say is it is the Lord who gets us through each day and helps us love each other more every day!

Steven-Happy 16th Birthday!

Today Steven turns 16. We love Steven with all our heart. He is in a very difficult learning stage and he really needs to know that God loves him today.  If you think of Steven today, pray for him to know God's love in a very deep way! Our hope is that he will understand the depth of Gods Love for him.(Psalm 139)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

you formed me in my mother's womb.

I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

before I'd even lived one day."

The Message Psalm 139

 Family fun Day!

With friends in 2008

Fall Festival 2008

 6th grade graduation

 Funny guy!

 With the Family! 2008

 His first snow!

Summer 2011 with the fam!

Fall 2011 starting 10th Grade!

We love you Steven! We are very proud of your accomplishments! REMEMBER

DONT STOP DONT GIVE UP!

Mom and Dad



Will You Pray for Us Today?

Asking you today to shoot a prayer for our family today. We have some decisions to make and having a "tired" week too!! Boys overall are ok...just some family decisions and things arent always clear as to what to do. I am relying on Isaiah 30:20-21.

Isaiah 30:20-21 (the Message)


Cry for help and you'll find it's grace and more grace. The moment he hears, he'll answer. Just as the Master kept you alive during the hard times, he'll keep your teacher alive and present among you. Your teacher will be right there, local and on the job, urging you on whenever you wander left or right: "This is the right road. Walk down this road."

The Roses 4

Today I am 50!!!

What the heck? Seems just like yesterday that I was a young girl enjoying high school and college and running off to NYC and doing missions..........
Now, here I am with a husband, two teenagers that have greyed my hair and back in Alabama.

It is fun turning 50!! You get to be "old" to your kids, take more naps if you need, be bolder and not care what others think of you(still working on that one) and sign up for AARP and SENIOR discounts!! YEP!!! I get a discount at our movie theater if I have my card!! woohoo!

Will post some pictures later, but for now........I am VERY blessed!

Lisa

Lately...........

Be Unto Your Name   

                    by Lynn DeShazo & Gary Sadler

We are a moment You are forever
Lord of the ages God before time

We are a vapor You are eternal

Love everlasting reigning on high.
 Holy holy Lord God Almighty

Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain

Highest praises honor and glory

Be unto Your name
Be unto Your name

2.We are the broken You are the healer

Jesus Redeemer mighty to save

You are the love song we’ll sing forever

Bowing before You blessing Your name.

© 1998 Integrity’s Hosanna! Music CCLI# 2177476

These past few weeks have been full of good and challenging things......

I found out that my blood pressure is up again, doc put me on meds again. Cholesteol is down...triglycerides are up..more meds! I have been working so hard to get healthy(34 pounds at this writing) but my body(which will be 50 in a few short weeks) is not responding the way it used to. Other "female" things are going on(Russ is still mystified by them) and I am sitting here still feeling 25 in my mind.... Full of life, full of energy, wanting to do things as hard as I did them before....trying to make room for rest and relaxation....feeling OLD.
Through a friends blog, I found this song today that I love and wanted to share the words with you, my friends. It revived me! I love it when God does that...just when I am feeling OLD and ragged, He reminds me of His Everlasting Love for me..that even in hard times, I can praise Him and feel and know His Love!! This song reminds me that through our hard days and good...God is the CONSTANT. I hope YOU know that in your heart. He will never leave you!

Joshua 1:9

Russ is working hard, the boys are well....the boys!! We just celebrated Russ' birthday and it was a fun day! Even through our difficult days, I am so honored to know this man and know his faithful love for me and for the Lord DESPITE his imperfections. (-; (He STILL rubs my feet ALMOST every night while we are watching TV..without being requested to most of the time)

 In a couple of months, we will be celebrating 10 years of weddedness...not all bliss but walking together through hard times and good...lots of laughter and some tears...

Thank You God for Russell Rose!!!

There were actually TWO plates of cupcakes!

 Russ' dinner for his birthday!

he racked up on gift cards and money!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUSS!

No, this is not a graduation speech...but it sort of is..graduation into adulthood!

(notice the date on the picture..he has JUST turned 10 and had only been in our house a day!)

                      The past few days have been amazing to me.

After 7 LONGGGGGGGGGGG years of re-parenting this one, he is GETTING IT!!! YEP..Jason turned 17 this week and over the last few months and especially the last few days, he has had some incredible insight and wisdom(he has never been able to look beyond himself AT ALL with his developemental issues). It is like the LIGHT is turning on little by little. He is starting to see himself as a man(he never wanted to grow up) and it is showing. He has been much more respectful, more responsible and certainly more fun to be around! (Those are our 3 rules in our house that YOU'D BETTER FOLLOW!)

We had a great conversation this morning as I was taking him off to volunteer today to help people in need and I was thinking, "God, where is my kid and what did you do with him?"  What spurred a lot of this is that he and Steven sat on an Adoption panel with me and he was asked questions about his past and how he perceived being adopted. He was honest, articulate and very compassionate toward his past. He got him thinking about it and we had some very interesting discussion. I was blown out of the water with his clear, articulate thoughts and responses.

 Any parent of a special needs kid will tell you that sometimes we have to "shift" our expectations AND dreams for our kids and just "turn them all over" to God. Russ and I have grieved over what we had "hoped" would happen and just became open to what was.......these past few days, though, we have seen glimpses of what Jason is becoming and we are very pleased with it. We don't know his future and are fully aware because of his medical/mental issues that things may change tomorrow but for right now....we are soaking it up and enjoying every minute. (We will hold on to this for hope  when he has some more BP moments!!)

So, today, June 15th, we are happy and joyful that we have seen a "glimpse" of what may be coming down the road. We are grateful for prayers and all the great support that has been shown over the last 7 years for him and for us......

Thank YOU.....family, doctors, therapists, pastors, colleagues, old and new friends, adoption support groups in NY and AL, church friends, strangers, teachers, principals and many many others who have shown compassion and BELIEVED in our son! Without your support and care, where he is today would not have happened. There was a time when we feared that he might be in a mental hospital the rest of his adolescence. Now here he is...taking a turn into adulthood and seems to be headed in the right direction.

AND..most of all...thanks and praise to Jesus..who heals the broken hearted and who sustains us through very difficult times. ALL GLORY TO God Our Healer..Jehovah Rapha!

PRAY FOR JASON ON MONDAY (6/20)as he has his first job interview ever at the same place Russ is working!

Summer is Here!

 The boys enjoying the pool!

 Dont......say.......a ............word!! hehe

 Jason chose a sundae over Starbucks!

 After a long, but fun day at Sea World!

When we first arrived...ready to hit the ground running!

 

Steven chillin'

Thanks to the Sunshine Foundation for their wonderful gift of a vacation for our family! We got some much needed R & R and came back raring to go!

Summer will bring lots of travel for Lisa (for work), A J-O-B for Jason and Summer Day Camp for Steven. Russ will be working hard as well! Jason gets to go on Friday trips with TRC so he will have some fun too!  

Volunteering with the Fam....

The Roses went to Tuscaloosa AND Birmingham the last two weeks to serve those who were affected by the recent tornadoes. It was awesome.



Mothers Day 2011

I am sitting here writing while my guys are out planting a Hydrangea bush for me. I have always wanted one. I remember one house we lived in when I was young had a lot of these BIG BLUE bushes around the house. I loved them. I loved watching the bumblebees buzz and carry on the life cycle!!!  Brings back very fond memories. My mom loved plants and flowers and we always had them wherever we lived.

Today though is my day now....and it is very special today because for the first time in 7 years, we are able to have a Mothers Day and not have angst and past hurts come out. Most every Mothers Day for me has been Hell to be quite honest. Boys would start about a week before literally regressing to a point of acting the way they did pre-Roses. It would usually culminate with a blow out on Mothers Day. I have been called every name in the book, been told to "F-you" and pretty much they would do everything they could to make it a miserable day. Some days had led to major rages.  As much as I knew in my "head" what was going on, my heart was aching that they couldn't see the love I had for them from day 1!!!  I WANTED what other mothers seemed to get and what we were taught to do for our mother. I wanted a card that GENUINELY said I love you and appreciate you. But it never happened. Until today....

Yesterday was a bust and I WAS DREADING today. Russ had talk after talk after talk about showing appreciation etc and it just didnt seem to click!! I decided to lower my expectations today...way lower than I EVER HAD and I woke up praying and asking the Lord to show me how to love them today DESPITE what they might say or do.

I heard rustling in the kitchen and they were cooking breakfast. Jason had gotten up early and got dressed so he could help Russ cook! Steven, the slow one, even got dressed pretty quickly. Breakfast was served, church happened with cheerful attitudes and then it happened.....we went to lunch (and you might not understand this unless you have a special kid or adopted kid)and....and....Jason actually picked up the basket of bread and handed it to me asking me to choose. He then proceeded to hand it out and took the last piece that I know he didnt like and ate it without complaining. In that moment, he became a man and didnt really know it!! This afternoon has been awesome. It has been easy. It has been full of love and care FOR ME!

. I am so happy to see some movement in maturity. Jason has been extremely mature this week. I realize we might have a set back this next week but today I AM CHERISHING the moment. TODAY, it has been about me and not about them. Today, they grew emotionally. Today, they bonded with me a little more.

WOW! God is good.

We also said goodbye to one of our favorite therapists. She has been with us for 5 years and have helped us build a family. She is one of the most awesome ladies we have ever met. If you live in Birmingham and need a good family or kid therapist, email me! We will be working with someone here in Montgomery who is closer. We will miss her greatly but know this is the direction we need to go.  

Peace along the way everyone! God is good all the time!

Dealing with tornadoes, Osama and the end of school

I know! I know..sounds like a crazy title. Just some thoughts on this weekend.

This past weekend, our guys had some friends come over and hang out. During the day, we had all of them help work in the yard(great results!) and they worked very hard. Steven went to an event with a friend for the rest of the day and Jason and the twins(their friends)hung out and watched movies and ate pizza while Russ and I got to go out to dinner at a great restaurant in our town, Mr. G's. It is an Italian/Mediteranean place and it reminded us of some of the restaurants we ate at in NYC(particularly Little Italy)so it brought back fond memories. We got back and the house was intact. I went on to bed and the guys stayed up and well...did their "guy things" (including the hubby).

Church was good. The afternoon brought going to Starbucks to see a friend from NYC who had come to town for a few days and then going by the office and strategizing with my boss about Disaster Relief for tornado victims.

OSAMA-As Russ and I were settling down to watch the news on Sunday night, there was the breaking news about Osama Bin Ladens death. We were in shock that after 10 years, this man had finally been caught. I went to Facebook to see what was going on because I knew the statements would be flying..and they were. I was physically sick at some of the horrific comments that were made. Yes, this man did awful damage, Yes, he should be punished, Yes, it was horrible. But I sat there watching the cheering and jeering in DC and NYC and remembered back to right after 9-11-01 when we watched the same thing in Pakistan, Iran and other places and we were appalled that people could cheer over death. And here we were doing the same thing?  What ended up happening for me was that not only was I sickened but it brought up those old feelings from right after 9-11. It was a mourning day.....not a rejoicing day for us. Got lots of thoughts on this...still processing.

SCHOOL-So, the end of school is near. Boys are having a harder and harder time concentrating. They need to go out with a GOOD bang this 9 weeks and it is hard. I dont blame them..this has been an extremely hard year for them, adjusting to high school and all that comes with that now a days. Pray for all of us as we get through these next 3 weeks.

TORNADOES- YES...38 counties have been declared a disaster area in AL after the fateful tornadoes last week. That is 38 out of 66. Alabama Baptists and other denominations are working around the clock in recovery, relief and restoration. This was a big one and the work will be going on for months. We were not affected where we live but all around us was.  Pray for the people of Alabama. Much help is needed. Many people are stepping up but there is always room for more. If you want to help, email me at lrose@mgmbaptist.org and I can make sure you get something to do even from afar!!

All of this has taken a toll. I sit here at my desk at work every day now sending out emails and posting needs and hearing story after story about devastation and other things that are not pretty.

Lord have mercy.........

Update on the Roses

I can't believe that I haven't put anything on here since Christmas. I have to confess that Facebook is easier and reaches more people but I also know that several(you know who you are)of my family and friends are not on Facebook so here goes:

Since Christmas, we have been very busy with high school(J and S are in 9th grade this year)and it has been hard for J. His BP/PDD has made it very hard to concentrate  so we made the very difficult decision to pull him out of the mainstream high school and into a private school for this next year. It is a good school and we have prayed and thought about this so much but it was just necessary. We either had to do that or watch him "drop out" out of frustration and he would never get a GED, he just wouldn't. We are sending him to Summer School for the first time ever this summer to catch up on things he did not learn this year. He is not happy! (-;  We want to make sure he goes into the 10th grade with a better knowledge of what he is doing than right now. It breaks my heart because I love his SE teachers and they care for him so much...but it is something that has to be done.

We have also been in sports(bowling in winter and now baseball) and that keeps us busy on the weekends.

The Rose Race to Health is doing great.
Here is an update:
R-Maintaining but exercising every day
L-Lost 31.5 pounds as of this week
J-Maintaining his weight and doing MARVELOUS!
S-Still a few pounds to gain before he hits 100. He can do it! Our next goal for him is 120.
We are using the Dash Diet and the American Heart Association diet guidelines for our family and it is working!! WOOHOO!

We are getting to go to Disney World over Memorial Day weekend thanks to the Sunshine Foundation who gave us a free 5 day trip!! woohoo! Will blog on that in May. We are very grateful for them and giving us some relief from all the medical and other issues that plague our family daily. We will get a much needed break and good timing..right at the end of school.

We are also very excited that S gets to go to the new Marfan's Clinic in Birmingham in May. That means that we get to see everyone at one place! YAY!

Hubby and I teach a 5th/6th grade class at our church and they raised over $200 for Japan Earthquake relief. They sold muffins and milk before church. We will be giving through SBC Disaster Relief and are very proud of our kids.

Here are a few pictures from our fundraiser for Japan.

Enjoy!

Until we meet again...